Inquiry Method is the process of freeing ourselves from all ideas about how things, people, or we should be and getting interested in how they are. From this understanding we have the opportunity to author (to create) our lives based on “what is,” rather than on what we think should be.
Read MoreMost of us in our culture are perfectionists, we are taught to judge. As we look around we think this is good, this is bad. We may get more sophisticated and judge “this is better”, “that could use some improvement”, “that should not be like that”. We can also turn it on ourselves and judge “if only I was”, “that was stupid”, “I am too…”, “I am amazing”, “I know how that should be”, ...
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We spend a tremendous amount of time and energy avoiding feelings. Sometime when you are triggered, simply stop and feel what you are experiencing. Instead of justifying, avoiding, explaining, talking, drinking, exercising, checking out, arguing, complaining, criticizing, sleeping, watching TV, eating, having sex, etc… just feel what you are feeling. Close your eyes, feel your physical body, where do you feel the energy?
Read MoreThere are two aspects to the Inquiry Method perspective. One has to do with our external orientation, our interaction with life. This is the externalized aspect of inquiry. When we use inquiry to interact with life, we approach the world with curiosity and wonder.
Read MoreProbably the number one complaint I get from people who have learned Inquiry Method is that none of their friends know how to listen to them. It is a contrast because before Inquiry Method, they were just used to it. In most conversations, one person talks a little bit about themselves, or what they think or saw or heard, then the other person responds about themselves and what they think or saw or heard.
Read MoreWe often get confused between intention (outcome) and process. “I want them to do this” is not an intention; it is a process that you think will get you what you want. Intention is more like, “I want to feel good about the weekend,” or “I want to be successful at this job.”
Read MoreApproaching life through the Inquiry Method provides a basic place to begin with any issue that may arise. We are tempted to say, “This person did this” or “They shouldn’t have done that,” or we try to explain how or why it is not about us. We are tempted to explain or defend ourselves.
Read MoreOne of the ways I construct my ideal life is with blocking. I begin with an awareness of what I most want to do, and then I use my calendar to block out the time to do those things.
Read MoreThe other day a client told me that she was celebrating her birthday, and that when she tried to think of something special to do, she found that her regular daily routine could not be improved upon.
Read MoreI confess I haven’t read the whole book sent to me by a client but I love the premise of Mindset: The New Psychology of Success by Carol S. Dweck, Ph.D.
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